Someday... I always used to say. Maybe I’ll find that someone, but it won’t be for a long time. Great things take time as most of us know, but then you happened. As I stood in the kitchen sipping a mimosa surrounded by the chaos of my favorite people getting ready for our special day, I just smiled. Everyone kept waiting for me to have that “bridezilla” moment or to show some type of expected nerves but I didn’t have nor need them. You see, I had waited my whole life for this day and nothing, not even the building collapsing would make it any less special. So I ate pizza in my wedding dress for lunch, while covered in a camo coat. I took too many pictures with my mom, and meanwhile tried not to cry when I saw how beautiful my bridesmaids looked in their dresses. Until it was time to see my cowboy for the first look, as tradition calls it. There you were waiting for me so patiently like you always do. We had to move our pictures around a few times because of the rain, but the perfect spot was actually in the parking lot of the reception. No sooner had the tingling my cheeks from smiling stopped and it was time. As the fiddle played, I panicked as everyone looked at me, I asked my dad, “Where do I look they’re all looking at me?!” He simply replied, “Well I’m looking at Joe”, and so I did too. In a few short moments before God and everyone at the Fairgrounds that day, I became Haley Potter. (Yes like Harry Potter) I have never in my entire life felt more beautiful than that day. It wasn’t the perfectly orange flowers I ordered, the beautiful clip in my hair, the lace dress I had stared at in the closet for a year, or having someone do my makeup for me. It was because despite my imperfections the good, the bad, and the sometimes downright ugly, the man I love most still wanted to commit forever to me. Knowing everything involved in that, and yes I still feel like I tricked him a bit, he said “I do”. There have been days in our relationship that we laugh the whole day or there are other times where it feels like days between a good day. I have been selfish, cried over dishes, or said things in the moment I shouldn’t have. I have written notes on sticky notes or bananas to brighten his day. There were times when I would make passive aggressive comments at you, like how nice it would be to be reading a book like you, while I was doing housework. Some days at cow camp I wondered if I was even worthy as a partner because my roping was awful that day and so was the food I cooked for dinner. All the while mentally I was exhausted. I used to be so independent what happened?? WE happened. It was no longer about ME. The days of simply doing whatever I please and not caring for anyone else were gone. Being in a relationship that truly is 100% from each partner humbled me. I learned I was more caring, but also much more selfish than I ever imagined. And that is OK.
When I needed to learn patience I watched as Joe went along the day never complaining no matter the outcome. When I was depressed from a bad job, he sat me down and asked me what would help make me happy again. And when all I need is someone to be there, he holds my hand as we fall asleep. The reason marriage is so beautiful is because of this. You have to become a better, more forgiving version of yourself. You have to adapt to all the newness that it brings and show grace all along the way. And you don’t get to give up, because in a partnership they depend on you. They need you every bit as you need them in the good times or the toughest. And that is what was so special about our wedding day. That we chose each other for better or for worse, in a time where looking for other people or things is more common that a commitment. We chose to fight for each other every day the rest of our lives, because we believe that the other is worth every single laugh, tear, or smile along the way. No matter when in life you find that person, hold onto them tight and fight for them. You could meet the perfect at 22 or 42, all that matters if that when you do, you know that they are worth fighting for.
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AuthorThis is a blog to share many stories, laughs, adventures and lessons learned by yours truly, Haley Potter. Archives
July 2023
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