I will regularly find myself in the depths of social media looking at what other women in agriculture are up to. My intentions are usually to discover inspiration, however I tend to let nasty comparison thoughts trickle in. This thought process is not just with those I see on a screen, I catch myself doing this when I walk into a room, ride into an unfamiliar place with a new crowd and so on. The sad truth of the matter is, I’m not alone in this way of thinking. I have a lot of friends who are very talented in different faucets of agriculture who all eventually say the same thing at one time or another. “I'm not handy enough to do that”, “I need to be a better rider to justify using that”, or “once I’m good enough maybe I’ll try it”. It’s almost as if there is an unattainable goal in our minds we have to reach before we truly believe and allow ourselves to be who we want to be. I know in my heart of hearts this way of thinking is why you don’t see women as often in the typical pictures of the west. We remain behind the scenes, almost expected to hide our true significance in our operations. We are to let the cowboys be in the limelight right? Here’s where I’ve been wrong. I see incredibly talented, driven women discouraged from roping more, taking that step to being in a ranch rodeo, or trying something new because they think they aren’t “cowgirl enough”. Two years ago I bought a brand new orange rope and kept it hanging in the barn promising to use it once I could rope good enough. I never gave myself an attainable goal to reach other than good enough. When I finally got confident enough to even use the rope turns out it was too stiff and I didn’t even like after waiting a year to use it. All too often the women are expected to cook and give shots at a branding instead of roping like the typical A team cowboys. Here’s the thing, women have a place at the table and I bet with a little practice can dang sure be an asset in whatever form they choose. I no longer want to short myself on what I can and can’t do, because by doing that I’m letting other women in my circle down too. If I don’t believe in myself enough to go to that branding and rope in front of the good ole boys club, then why should I expect them to either. I would be a total hypocrite to write this and not hold myself to the same standard. To be fully transparent there are still times when my husband has to convince me to go do something because I don’t feel qualified to do so. I will no longer use the excuse “I’m not cowgirl enough” to hinder me from doing anything whatsoever. I am going to start that all women’s ranch rodeo team without fear of “we may not be good enough or what will people think”. I am going to wear my cowboy hat my husband helped me pick out because I like it and it protects me from sun burning, I am going to rock my hot pink horn wrap that our great friends gave me when my husband got hurt despite what comments it may receive. I am tired of having to explain or assert my “cowboy-ness” to myself and others. You are a cowgirl if you don’t know how or don’t like to train colts. You are a cowgirl if you never desire to pick up a rope but love to help move cattle. You are a cowgirl if life’s current strains make it so you can only ride so often or maybe even not at all. You can still be a good roper even if you missed every shot at the branding today because it just wasn’t your day. You are a cowgirl if you don’t have your own horse but love to go help your family and friends when you can. In my mind we should not have check certain boxes to be a cowgirl.
I read Skye Clarke’s post a few weeks ago and it really helped verbalize what I’ve been thinking and trying to say. In it she explained you do not have to be a horse trainer to train horses, you do not have to be a professional farrier to shoe your own horses, nor do you have to be a fantastic roper to love going to brandings. You just have to love what you do and strive each day to be better, why set those comparisons and doubts into your mind. You don’t have to be “cowgirl enough”, you just have to be your own kind of cowgirl. It’s time that women start to become a fixture in images of the west and there’s only one way to start that change, ourselves.
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AuthorThis is a blog to share many stories, laughs, adventures and lessons learned by yours truly, Haley Potter. Archives
July 2023
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